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Exclusives

• Britt’s Diary: Barbados
• Mia’s Diary: Grenada

Britt’s Diary: Barbados

OK, so I’m finally here. With Mia. Who’s totally into the whole thing and wanting to get completely involved in all the cruise activities which I’ll definitely be avoiding. Asking Mia seemed like a good idea at the time, but I did it in a panic, and now I’m beginning to wonder if it’ll turn out to be a disaster. She wants to have a great holiday but this isn’t a holiday. It’s work. I’m not sure she appreciates that yet.

Mind you, I do have to keep reminding myself too that it’s work because it hasn’t felt like it so far. The flight over was wonderful – I could get used to business-class travel, I really could. There’s something very soothing about turning left when you board the plane. (Listen to me! It’s so far from turning left I was brought up! When we were small it was camping holidays to Cork or Waterford. And then when we were a bit older and our parents splashed out on the holiday abroad it was a cheap-o package trip to Benidorm. Great at the time though.)

I was a bit miffed when Mia took out her copy of The Perfect Man on the plane. I’d love to know how the personalised copy that I sent her ended up in a swimming pool before she got around to reading it. Even though the whole publication thing came about accidentally, I feel very proprietorial towards it now and the idea that she couldn’t be bothered to read it straightaway actually hurt me. I had to tell myself that what’s important to me isn’t necessarily important to her. And she does have different priorities, of course she does. But still...

I think she liked it. I saw her sniff near the end. Then again, Mia’s always been the emotional one in our family, so it would’ve been a disaster if she didn’t! It’s a pity there wasn’t a bit of time to explore Barbados. I’ve never been here before and it was just wonderful to step off the plane and feel the warm, tropical breeze after the cool, London air. Bliss, actually. Made me think we should’ve come a day or two sooner to lie out on one of the long, white beaches.

Dinner was a bit strained tonight – we were bounced into sharing our table with another passenger, a man named Leo something-or-other. He’s very reserved. A bit odd to see a single man on a Valentine’s Cruise. I wonder what he’s looking for. I wonder will he find it...

Mia’s Diary: Grenada

Oh my God, this is just so amazing! When I got up this morning and went out on to our private balcony (private balcony – awesome!) I couldn’t get over how gorgeous everything was. The sea is so blue and the island so green! Absolutely wonderful!

Of course I’m gutted that Allie isn’t here with me. Obviously she wouldn’t appreciate the cruise and she’d drive Britt nuts, but it’s like a part of me has been ripped away. I’ve never been away from her before so maybe that’s making it twice as difficult. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad if I was being Britt’s PA in the frozen wastelands of Siberia or something, but I feel doubly guilty because everything here is so very perfect. Britt is being pig-headed about the whole work thing. I had to meet the Cruise Director for her before I could leave the ship. She’s doing her control-freak stuff about having everything exactly how she wants it etc., etc. Fortunately, Steve, the director, seems to be a very easy-going guy and he has Britt’s demands well under control. Actually he seems to think she’s being quite reasonable. Maybe she is. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to be some kind of diva person. I’ve never been the one to make demands. Usually it’s the other way round – people are demanding things of me!

Anyway, I eventually finished up with Steve (he’s quite cute actually) and had the rest of the day free. I thought about trying to hire a moped and do my own exploring, but I only like doing that when I’m not tied to time. So the organised tour seemed a better bet, although I had a quick re-think of that when I got on the bus, which was hot and steamy. Leo, the guy from dinner last night, was sitting beside me. I thought he was nice yesterday but he was in a foul mood today so no fun to talk to. Reminded me a bit of Britt the way he kept himself to himself.

I enjoyed the trip, even though it was a bit long. According to the driver, Grenada is one of the Windward Islands and it’s just a hundred miles north of the Venezuelan coast. It’s one of the smallest independent countries in the western hemisphere and most of the centre of it is taken up with forest and foliage. It’s also known as the Spice Island because of its fragrant spice trees. We were brought to a nutmeg factory and I bought some ground nutmeg, but apparently I could just as easily have bought cinnamon, ginger, mace or cloves, because the island produces all of these. We went off to see an old spice plantation afterwards. Or maybe it was a rum plantation. I’ve forgotten. I think they were offering free shots of rum there so maybe that’s what it was. I was also distracted by meeting the oh-soglamorous model, Pippin, and her family, who’d got it into their heads that Leo and I were an item. As if!

Apparently, Grenada was another one of Christopher Columbus’s discoveries. He named it Concepcion, but later Spanish sailors were reminded of Andalusia, in Spain, and decided to change the name to Grenada. Naturally, hearing that made me think of Alejo and wonder what he was doing in Granada, Spain, at that very moment. One day I’ll think of Alejo and I won’t want to cry. But I can’t imagine when that day will come...

Read the complete diaries in the Asda Book Club edition of The Perfect Man.

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